8 ways to blow those holiday blues away

We all know the scene. Its holiday time, Jingle Bells is blaring across every mall and there’s that happy, shop-until-you-drop, help your fellow man/woman vibe in the air.

It’s a fun time — right?

Well, actually not for everyone.

Hidden in between all the colored lights, eggnog and tinsel something darker lives and breathes. It’s also a time many people suffer severe bouts of depression, holiday blues and general feeling sorry for themselves.

Expectations are super high in this silly season. You know those occasions when the family is all together and everything is supposed to be perfect. No pressure — right? You sit there at the dinner table with white knuckles, anxiously glancing at the clock every few minutes while putting on a brave face and wanting to be anywhere but where you are.

And for those who spend the holidays alone, and that number is bigger than you think worldwide, especially for people over 50, it’s the “orphan Christmas” syndrome.

What do you do when that dark curtain of sadness comes down and you feel alone in the crowd? You are grieving someone who’s departed, or miss someone you love who’s far away, or you’ve been so busy working that anyone who’s close to you has long given up keeping in touch. Think about it — the holidays basically stretch from Thanksgiving to New Year’s Day, a very long time to manage your angst, knowing that so many small things can trigger sadness — songs, smells, food……

To help anyone who’s feeling left out, sad or let down over the holidays here’s some options to beat those holiday blues and help put that festive season pep back into your step.

1) Take it easy with the drinking — while its part of the holidays to have a glass or 3 of your favorite brew, alcohol can be a further depressant like no other. So before you throw back those shots, remember if you are already feeling sad don’t want to make it worse — rather drink juice or tonic water and tell everyone its tequila or vodka. Your body will thank you in the morning and you can avoid the “do you know what you did last night” calls the next day!

2) Gift buying — holiday time is code for spending more, punishing that wallet and pushing you further into depression. Don’t spend what you can’t afford — trust me it’s not worth being flashy with your credit card now and suffering the rest of the year. Learn to say no to buying expensive gifts and as the old saying goes — give something affordable and from the heart. The people who count won’t have a problem with that and the ones who do have a problem probably don’t count anyway.

3) Old memories — this is the time of year about family/loved-ones above all else. As we get older, those we loved pass on and we miss them terribly. Remembering dinners, happy moments, ugly sweaters and missing it can leave you sinking into a dark hole of depression. Try starting a new ritual or get together with new friends and stop having expectations of how holidays should be and make them what they are — a time to be grateful for what and who you have your life!

4) Can’t get to the gathering — technology is a gift and a curse. Over the holidays it can be a gift. If you’re upset because you can’t make your sister’s Christmas lunch as you’re working, broke or don’t want to see your brother-in-law, then face-time, WhatsApp, zoom and many other apps can put you in the room with sis for a catch-up, feel good chat. See, no excuses!

5) You want to spend the holidays alone — weird as this may sound, its true for a lot of people. Seeing people at this time is not for you this year and the thought of family/friends gathering has your nerves on edge. It’s your choice and at your age you don’t need permission to say no! Spend the time catching up on reading, writing, exercising, or travel — anything that makes you feel good. You’ll feel recharged and positive.

6) Visit partner’s family —  your partner has asked you to visit their family/friends over the holidays and the thought of not going home to your peeps has you anxious and stressed about what they’ll say. Be firm, make your decision and stick to it. Your family will get over it (eventually) and your partner will love you even more!

7) Do something for someone else — there’s an old saying about when you are feeling at your worst, doing something to help someone else will lift you up. Trust me it works! Why not chase away those blues by doing some volunteer work. There is no shortage of opportunities if you make enquiries in your area. A great start to put a smile on your face is to help deliver gifts at hospitals, shelters and old age homes. Tap into the season’s energy of compassion and altruism, get out of the house and give sadness the boot!

8) You haven’t spoken to family all year — there is a lot of guilt attached to the way we can drift apart from people we love, with no obvious reason. One day you wake up and realize you haven’t spoken to family members or friends for months or years and you can’t even remember why? Was it because of some argument or were you too busy and kept promising to call but never did?  This happened to a very good friend of mine and she was so depressed about it and felt guilty as hell. Well, this holiday season get off your ass, reach out and change the pattern. Show up and make it happen. Chances are you will all be sharing a good laugh about it as you renew relationships. After all tis the season to be jolly!

So, don’t you go singing the blues this holiday season — do what feels right for you, make new memories, renew old ones or use be grateful for all that you have.

From me to you — happy holidays and I’m looking forward to hearing about how you beat the blues in the comments section below.

You’ve got this and I’ve got you

Dena

DENA BURTON

I’ve been a model, a real estate agent, and I am a native Angeleno. (Surviving LA traffic not only shows my ability to stay level headed, it also shows my commitment and follow through.)